My 'That Look in the Hallway' thread--which turned out to be the conception point for this forum, eXcavations--was started in the Old Fox Forum on 10-14-98, in the 5x20, as a reality check for those who were absolutely convinced that the near-kiss in FTF was just what Scully had been wishing, hoping and pining for during five long years. I believed there were more factors involved in what was going on there, based on the momentary look of panic Scully
shows at the point when she realizes Mulder is about to kiss her. The thread received over
400 replies, and during the discussion much relevant information was brought up, processed and assimilated.
Wish I'd saved all the pertinent commentary, because there was lots of
great stuff, but sad to say I didn't, and then the Old Fox Boards
crashed. I posted this summary when we were approaching the point of wearing the subject into the ground.
THE APARTMENT: Mulder
-Mulder has just verified that Kurtzweil did in fact know his father. Even so, his doubt has probably left him smarting over the number of times he has blindly followed after anyone or anything that promised to reveal the truth he has so long sought.
-He feels himself on the verge of finding another piece to the Dallas puzzle.
-In the middle of this, his partner--the only human being in the world he trusts--walks in and tells him she is quitting the Bureau. That it's already done.
-The sudden recognition that he is losing her may echo for him the many other intimate losses of his life: of his sister, of Scully when she was abducted, of the respect of his colleagues when he started to pursue a quest outside the mainstream, of the soulmate Sarah Cavanaugh, found so briefly and almost immediately taken away by the suicide of Melissa Ephesian.
-In Scully's words he may be hearing, "No one will any longer be believing you."
-Instead of recognizing Scully's self-doubt, Mulder may be hearing that she doesn't trust HIM. (thanks to Sn66py for these last two!)
-Distraught over the personal loss, and angry at the loss to the quest, he follows Scully out into the hall.
THE APARTMENT: Scully
-Scully hasn't come to this decision to quit lightly. The X-files have been closed, the work they are given is no longer satisfying, and her only option is to take a job in a field office.
-She has always felt a need to prove herself professionally--to herself, and to her family. Her current situation looks a lot like failure.
-The appearance of Diana Fowley (with whom Mulder has had a personal/professional history) in 5x20 has severely shaken her confidence in her position and effectiveness as Mulder's partner as she sees him with someone who thinks along the same lines he does.
-Scully has always had a need for validation by others (she is insistent, when her father dies, on knowing if he was at all proud of her), and she and Mulder are so often at odds over theories, methodology, evidence. When she does stretch
herself to more extreme possibilities, she is not validated either (in Beyond the Sea, she follows Boggs' vision to find the warehouse, but Mulder reacts angrily,
sure that Boggs has set her up and that she could have been killed.)
-She realizes Mulder will not let her quit without trying to talk her out of it. She's not looking forward to this.
-She has been mulling all this over for some time (scene in bed, doubts about whether to tell him in person), but she finally does go to the apartment, says what she needs to say, sees a pause--an opening--and walks out.
THE HALLWAY: Mulder
-Confronted with the fact that she really is going, that she is leaving his life--leaving him--results in a sudden moment of clarity for Mulder. He catches up with her and things he may never have consciously processed start to pour out of him: she has saved him a thousand times, she has kept him honest, made him a whole person. She is the one person in the world he can count on, and he isn't sure he can--or even wants to--carry on the work alone.
THE HALLWAY: Scully
-Hearing his validation of her--and much more--Scully is touched to the core by Mulder's confession and left speechless and overwhelmed. All of her assumptions/reasoning have just been turned on their head. But she recognizes Mulder's desperation, his sincerity, and her need to comfort him (along with her own sudden emotional overload) overrides her plan to leave, and she steps forward and into his arms.
THE HUG
You can see--yes, and hear (very effective)--the overwhelming tension dissolve here; both of them find a moment of true HOME (MHO). Feeling a need to reassure Mulder, Scully kisses him on the forehead.
THE ALMOST-KISS: Mulder
-Realizing he needs Scully and not just her partnership ("she is so conjunctive to my life" Claudius says of Gertrude in Hamlet--I keep coming back to that), things pass beyond the state of relief to some deeper level. He moves slowly. He wants to kiss her. tries to kiss her...But enter the bee (CC's slip-of-the-rug from under us.)
-Mistakenly thinking (assuming?) Scully has tried to pull away from him, he offers an instant apology.
THE ALMOST-KISS: Scully
-Scully smiles when Mulder first cups her face, but her natural reaction to avoid emotionally-challenging situations kicks in.
-She wants to look away, look down, retreat to the familiar as she sees the tone of things shifting from
partnership to personal, yet because of his hands, she can't.
-When she realizes he intends to kiss her, we see panic cross her face.
-As he comes closer, she resolves to go through with the kiss, to accept it.
-When Mulder apologizes, she reassures him. ("No. Something stung me.")
POST-BEE: Mulder
-The depth of Mulder's caring/worry for Scully are evident in both his voice (that great gravelly/emotional thing David does) and face as he calls 911.
THE SNOW: Scully
-Scully has not had time to process what went on in the hallway due to the bee sting.
-As she comes to in the snow only to see Mulder passing out, she realizes all this man has gone through to save her. This is her moment of realization, the place where she realizes what he means to her.
-The depth of her feelings for Mulder show in the way she cradles him in the snow.
THE REFLECTING POOL: Mulder
-Frustrated by the fact that they have once again gone to hell and back and returned without a shred of verifiable evidence, and concerned for Scully's life, he tells her to leave, to go have a fulfilling career while she still has a chance.
-The "hollow personal cause" phrase seems to indicate that he is no longer taking Scully for granted.
-He is surprised, then pleased--maybe even awed--by her refusal to go and her strong declaration that they need to continue the work together.
THE REFLECTING POOL: Scully
-Scully refuses to leave Mulder and the work, and seems sure of her decision.
-She has finally carved out a niche for herself within the quest ('How many lives can we save?") and become personally invested in it.
-SHE MAKES EYE CONTACT. She is no longer avoiding Mulder's gaze. This seems to indicate a new readiness to tackle difficult issues head-on.
THE ACTING
Everyone has come to appreciate through all this discussion (and many viewings) the absolutely amazing acting of both Gillian and David as highlighted in the scenes in question, including the talent they have for conveying volumes of meaning without ever having to say a word. (I'd say something more eloquent, but I'm left as speechless as Scully in that hallway.) Thanks to both of them for the amazing job they do. And of course to whoever was involved in conceptualizing that scene. Its slow awkward realism was its genius.
