| Why
did the chicken cross the road? X-Files characters speak out...
Fox Mulder: Maybe he'd didn't actually cross--maybe he was abducted.
Do we have any evidence that he actually reached the other side? Have
there been reports of alien sightings in the area?
Dana Scully: There is a logical, scientific explanation for the
chicken crossing the road. But we need more evidence.
Walter Skinner: You've got 24 hours to find out why that damn
chicken crossed the road!!!
CSM: Chicken? There was no chicken.
Alex Krycek: The chicken? I can get him for you, too.
Byers: It was trying to escape the most heinous and evil force of
the twentieth century.
Langly: It was on its way to the grassy knoll, dude.
Frohike: I don't know, but she's hot.
Bill Mulder: It heard the words, and they made sense to it.:
merchandise...fryer parts....
Mrs. Mulder: I've told you before. I don't remember any chicken.
Mrs. Scully: I had a dream about a chicken being taken away....
Melissa Scully: The chicken needed to get in touch with its inner
self, to find what was light and good. It was in a very dark place.
Bill Scully, Jr.: Dana, you shouldn't be out chasing chickens. I
thought you came to see the family. We have a responsibility to the
people in our lives.
The Well-Manicured Man: The chicken will cross the road in one
of two ways....
Deep Throat: Mr. Mulder, they crossed the road a very long time
ago. Trust no fowl.
X: The chicken is choosing a dangerous time to cross. The road is
still out there, but it's never been more dangerous.
Marita Covarrubias: I don't know how much I can tell you about
the chicken.... Oh yessssss, the chickenssssss. How much time do you
have?
Jeremiah Smith: I can't tell you right now why the chicken
crossed the road, but if you come with me, I'll show you.
The Alien Bounty Hunter: Tell me where the chicken is!
Emil and Zoe (stoner kids): I dunno, but I sure hope he stayed
away from the - heh heh - landmines and junk!
Tom Colton: At this point I'm willing to accept any theory as to
why the chicken crossed the road--any sane theory.
Eugene Victor Tooms: Mmm, pāte... (smiles)
Ellen (Scully's friend): Well, first it had to get a life. And a
rooster.
Rob (Scully's date): I don't know, but I don't suppose you want
to hear about the finer points of tax planning in the poultry industry?
Phoebe Greene: Did the chicken have a date, 'cause if not, I
could always...
Cecil L'ively: It was dying for a cigarette.
Michael [Genderbender]: The road's touch was electric. The
chicken was drawn to it. But after that... (shakes his head) Crossing the road used to be so simple!
Indian guy [Shapes]: He should have been called... Feathered
Chicken... or Flying Chicken, not Crossing Chicken.
Duane Barry: I don't know... it just had to go. Please, I'm askin'
ya not to stop it from crossing the road. It just has to go!!!!!!!
Donnie Pfaster: Were its feathers normal, or dry?
The Conundrum: *burp*
Dr. Blockhead: It's a mystery. And some mysteries were never
meant to be solved.
Charlie/Michael Holvey [The Calusari]: The chicken wants to cross
the road, Mommy. Now!
D.P.O. Because it was in for a little barbecue, heh-heh.
The Stupendous Yappi: The chicken feels it is not in control of
its own destiny. It has feathers... somewhere on its body. It recently
laid an egg... or not. Here--it tries to force itself onto the road!
But... it cannot cross the road. It is incompetent.
Clyde Bruckman: Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do any of
us do anything? Why did he choose that exact moment to cross the road,
leaving a slight indentation in the surface that, fifty years later,
causes a man driving a blue sports car to hit it and spin off onto the
shoulder,
spiraling to his death...
Dr. Bambi: To eat, sleep, defecate, procreate. Who cares about
the road? What bugs did the chicken eat for lunch?
Stoner Guy [WOTC]: Whoa, man. The chicken's crawling up inside
your arm. That's wrong, dude.
Terri: The chicken killed Mr. Tippy!!
Margi: Hate him, hate him, wouldn't wanna date him!
Robert Patrick Modell: The other side of the road looks very
peaceful. The sky is so blue over there--cerulean blue. You want to go
to the other side of the road. The chicken's right over there, waiting.
Go on, cross the road...
Jose Chung: I interviewed the chicken several times over the
course of three weeks, and each time I interviewed him, I got a
different answer! Truth is as subjective as reality! By the way, do you
know whether he prefers the term 'crosser' or 'transportee'?
The Men in Black: No object is more mistaken for a chicken than
the planet Venus. You never saw a chicken.
Det. Manners: Does anyone give a bleep why the bleepin' chicken
crossed the road? Who the bleep cares? By the way, someone just called
to say they found a real live dead chicken body lying by the side of the
road.
Blaine Faulkner: It wasn't a chicken. It was a MIB sent in by the
'proper authorities' disguised as a chicken, but it wasn't pulling it
off. Like, it looked like a Rhode Island Red, but it was a little too
red, you know?
Member of Congress [Terma]: Answer the question, Miss Road: Where
is the chicken, and why is it not here?
Betty tattoo: Another chicken in my bed? If it crosses the road,
it's dead!!!
Ed Jerze: Can you hear that? She's driving me crazy. She's so
jealous. She hates it when chickens cross the road.
Leonard Betts: He's sorry. But the road had something he needed.
Michael Kritschgau: The chicken was an elaborate hoax all along,
carefully planted so you'd believe the lie that chickens exist.
Chris Carter: The chicken isn't going to cross the road. I'll
never let that happen.
Fanfic writer: I let it out of its cage. Chris Carter wasn't
going to let it go anywhere, and it needed someone to let it cross the
road.
Non X-Phile: Who cares? It's just a stupid chicken! It's
fictional! Why the heck are you worrying about a chicken, anyway? I just
don't understand what you see in this whole thing!
Shipper: The chicken and the road had undeniable chemistry and
were fated to cross.
NoRoMo: I can't understand why you people can't be satisfied with
the chicken walking by the side of the road. Why does the chicken have
to cross the road? Why are you focusing on that? It would ruin the bird!
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